TELL. man, if you love that guy, go tell him! what are you waiting for? the sky to fall? you always lament over him when you didnt even tell him!
FORGET. if he doesnt love you, forget it. dont go thinking about him and telling people how much you miss him. dont you ever realise that it's very obnoxious?
LOVE. if love hurts, then why do you still love someone? arent you contradicting yourself then? and i bet this is the part where the "love cannot be helped" thing comes in. it CAN be. but you are so occupied hurting yourself that you dont care to find out.
PS: lifeng and angeline, this is specially dedicated to you ;)

guitarfreak!
6:50 PM

changed my blog skin(as if that isnt obvious) but currently using the other com. so if i didnt include your link. please message me in msn or something and i will do my best to link you asap. i know the tag board is screwed. but im not taking chances. oh alright! maybe im just lazy and cant be bothered... but you arent going to tag it everyday anyway... oh and by the way, please leave your name in the tag board if you visited. and any comments. please.

guitarfreak!
9:52 AM

You would say I'm your ordinary teenager. I do not make heads turn. I do not have crowds squirming to attain a signature. But I have a life which is more than meets the eye.
I am born in a similar way as all humans do. I live my childhood like any other three month toddler would. I am not born with magical powers. I do not have speed faster than a speeding bullet. But I am special. I am not the same as any other person to compare with.
I had a love for books at a young age. I loved to squirm into a corner of the black abyss and shine a lucent beam unto the vast stretches of each page. People would question me as to why did I not use the lights, or why wasn't I slumbering and dozing off the Dreamland. I had only one answer to them all. I don't know. You might say it's just another cheap excuse, but it is just a thing of the past now.
When i think of it, I always though I was stuck in childhood, being a toddler for eternity, and suddenly, the maturity fairy apeeared out of nowhere. I guess I matured at an alarming rate compared to the boys my age, like an anomaly within time and space itself.
True, I don't have many friends, but I do have a handful to spend time with. I suppose many people found me weird. Looking at me with their accusing eyes, as if saying "Hey, why are you still here?". Sometimes, I would feel as though my own comrades have turned upon myself. As if I was a clay pigeon launched into the endless reaches of the skym only to get targeted by two strangers with those malicious rifles.
I grew up eventually, not to much surprise. I had alot of downs. Sometimes, I would question myself, "Is everyone this way?". Why could people live happily, like they were just another part of a page in a fairy tale? Or is that the truth, and I am just a clarafare? Sometimes I would tell my partners how I was different. I thought about much more things than their measly minds could think of. But sadly, my efforts would go down the drain. They would say they had the same thoughts and that I'm no different. But I doubt so. Some day, they will take back their empty lies!
Many people say I'm weird. I'm abnormal. But what exactly is normal? That would be the majority wouldn't it? Many of my friends say I can't get along well with people. They would stab a blade into my spine, unnoticed. Oh! The silent tears that run down my cheeks. Who would understand?
The greatest scar of my life would be when my parents turned against me. Thirteen years! Have they been planning this scheme all this while? They say your family is your closest kin. Not when they snared you down from life.
The moon was bright, its radiant beam pouring into my face. An antelope, a graceful creature with peace circulating it, only to get hostile upon the sight of a predator. I was fighting. I must have looked more like a still-beating fish on the surface.
Strangers circled me. She must have been the leader. She pushed a thin silver prick into my skin, as i fell into a vertigo. Both physically and mentally. Darkness enshrouded me.
I opened my eyes. It was dark. There was light in the corridor, however. I knew I must be hospitalised. As corny as it is, as dramatic too. I tried to rub my eyes, but I couldnt. My limbs were brought down by binds of some sort. It's as if the river boa decided to make me dinner. For that split second, I wished I was constricted to my death instead.
I knew I wasn't in the comfort of my own room. Tears started racing down my cheeks. Fear gripped me in my mst vital areas. Then the leader showed up again at the door. So the Grim Reaper decided to pay a visit after all. She neared me, and tranquilised me once again.
The golden rays of dawn poured into my room. But the binds are still there. How I wished the Grim Reaper was less merciful. I knew I had to use my wits to get out of here. Two nurses came in bringing me breakfast. I asked if they would like some, but of course they refused and comments that my case my wasn't bad. Whatever that meant. But most importantly, my plan is going better than I expected!
Then the leader and two men showed up. I don't know which is worse; losing your clothes to three strangers and being bathed with snares, or losing your dignity of freedom. Unfortunately, life is never fair. I guess having both happen have made me hardier. I move into the hall, only to find other people. A mental institute! How dare those fools send me here!
Every few days the doctor would come and talk to me. The doctor who suggested to send me here. How dare that spawn of evil show his face? What makes it worse is that he precribed a wrong medication. You might say noone is perfect, but this fault is a downturn in my race. I never wished to stand up from this fall, but this seemed like my demise. Finally I am out of the hospital, leaving those fools behind.
Life sure makes a mockery of us. Sometimes I wonder if my life is worth it. Up to this day, I still ask the same question, "What am I living for?". If my life had a purpose, why am I different from the majority? All I know is because.
I have gone through hell and seen Apocalypse in the eye.

-Jun Wei

guitarfreak!
2:26 PM